Tuesday, September 23, 2003

 

I have spent most of the day packing and o my what alot of stuff i have to pack. I have done this every autumn for the last few years but this time it is different, i am leaving nothing behind. I'm not going off to uni i am moving home. this room i sit in now is no longer my bedroom it is the spare room. My belongings are in the way of this rooms new identity so they are all coming with me (except for the boxes under the stairs, hee hee hopefully my parents will forget about those). I am suddenly realising that i own too much stuff. i never thought of myself as a hoarder but how can i deny it when i open my cupboards to discover corn dollies i made when i was 10 a a blue dolphin candle i bought in the underground candle shop in covent garden when i was 12, a parrot brooch my brother won for me at trocadero when i was...hmm let me think...13, old pony magazines (will i ever read them again? i dont think so!) a bag of old birthday cards (do i even remember all the people who gave them to me?), many programs for the plays and music recitals i have seen over the years (including curse of the mummy, a childrens play i saw at regents park when i was a kiddy), lots of shells and rocks, and worst of all a ton of dust collectors (some people call them ornaments) given to me by relatives and i haven't dared to get rid of them. There was a lot more stuff with no purpose for existing apart from that at some point in my life i had thought each of these items would be good to keep for memories. but have i at any point looked at them except when struggling with the notion of throwing this rubbish away? so into the bin it has all gone...well maybe not all of it. Yet still i own more material possessions than most 21 year olds i would imagine like furniture. I dont have a house but i do have enough furniture to fill one. but is it my fault if since the day i was born family and friends have been giving me things for "the day when i have a place of my own". i can still remember my nan giving me the blue wicker chair (i am sitting in now) and telling me i could use it in my own home one day. how old was i? lets see 14 i think. how will norma jean bare up under the weight of all these things? i do not know but some how she will, though the axle make creak, her tyres may tremble her boot make break but she will prevail!!!!

after a dusty days work, and many encounters of the spider kind, i came to a stop in the garden and with a cup of tea in hand took a look at autumn. The oak tree by the fence has been dropping acorns like mad (and with lethal accuracy towards the head of anyone in the garden), the horse chestnuts are heavy with their prickly green treasures bursting to reveal shiny new conkers, leaves are changing colour and night is settling on us much faster now. It is beautiful and i feel sorry for anyone who misses out on autumn.

posted by Brianne 5:42 pm