Wednesday, April 02, 2003

 

April 02, 2003: 7.34pm

dreaming of a cow in the garden, a dog by my side and pot plants all around...

The sun is low in the sky and is so golden, it makes the shadows stretch and time seems to slow. I'm so sleepy in that wonderful way when i think i could just slip into unconsciousness and sleep at last...
I love evenings like this and i have locked my door so that no one can come in and break the spell. I'm shutting out the world tonight.

Esther may be right, maybe i am running away...i want to be left alone...perhaps living with people will rub down the rough edges but why would she and lammie want to live me? for all the times i make them laugh there is probably a hundred more when i make them hate me...

It's so tempting to get a place of my own...

blah blah blah blah..........................................blah

posted by Brianne 6:35 pm

Tuesday, April 01, 2003

 

April Fool's Day, 2003: 3.00pm

I have realised for some time that i am a difficult person to live with, i rub people up the wrong way and i can over react when i am offended. Perhaps i am not the sort of person who should live with anyone, maybe i am destined always to be single living in a house surrounded by pot plants, dogs and a cow in the garden (not a bad dream). My friendships mean a lot to me and i don't want to risk them anymore...i'm going to have to think carefully about next year.

posted by Brianne 2:06 pm

Sunday, March 30, 2003

 

March 30, 2003: 8.23pm

As i lay in bed last night and i closed my eyes an image flashed across my eye-lids before i had even fallen asleep and it was like sitting in my own private cinema...
I was running eagerly towards the edge of a cliff and i leapt off, reaching up and out...then i looked down and i saw the drop and i was scared, my stomach lurched and i thought i would surely fall to my death...I went to shake myself to try and rid myself of this image but i stopped myself because i had looked again and i saw i had wings and i was flying...i felt safe, my heart was full...the last thing i saw was a white dove.
When i opened my eyes the following verse flashed into my head

'...those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.'

Probably only a moment had passed between closing my eyes and reopening them...it feels quite surreal looking back.

posted by Brianne 7:23 pm