Sunday, May 04, 2003

 

the leaves of the tree outside were dancing on the kitchen wall, they were on fire. They seemed to dance so gleefully but i suppose they were in their death throes.
I could have stopped it but i left them there dancing.

posted by Brianne 8:22 pm

 

i can hear the sky rumble and see the flames flicker through the leaves,
something is moving over me,
the trees are silent
witnesses

posted by Brianne 8:17 pm

 

you don't live here esther polley...

posted by Brianne 8:11 pm

 

There is a seagull tap-dancing on the roof over esther's room. I think esther is renting the roof out as a stage, i'm not sure the university will allow her to do that. If she gets kicked out she had better not think about dragging us down with her. You're on your own babe.

posted by Brianne 5:03 pm

 

Esther and I went to see X men 2 last night (I went to see it willingly and Esther was dragged kicking and screaming). Esther threatened to wear an "I'm not a geek" t-shirt and laughed at the people running to get good seats. I decided I would like to control the weather like storm. The weather is so beautiful, powerful, and can hold a person enthralled. I can think of so many moments in my life which would not have been the same if the weather had not been a certain way, memories marked out in my mind by the weather that day.

Many people had imaginary friends when they were kids, i imagined the wind was my friend. I thought i could hear it speaking to me when it was rustling the trees or when a door banged open in the wind. Running on windy days i imagined the wind was helping me to run faster, i thought i could outrun anyone. I loved the wind in my hair and on my face i thought it was saying hello or comforting me when i was in pain, thats why i never allowed anyone to cut my hair as a kid, because of that feeling of the wind blowing my hair...and forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair

posted by Brianne 4:49 pm

Friday, May 02, 2003

 

May 2, 2003: 6.41pm

if you should die before me ask if you can bring a friend

posted by Brianne 5:41 pm

 

May 2, 2003: 4.47pm

the power of prayer

Byrd (1988) conducted a randomised controlled trial of intercessory prayer for patients admitted to a coronary care unit. Patients prayed for by Christians outside the hospital needed less ventilatory assistance, antibiotics and diuretics.

posted by Brianne 3:50 pm

 

May 2, 2003: 2.58pm

the cows are in the field again

The clouds hang heavily in the sky and Ludovico Einaudi plays in the background. Has anyone ever noticed how there are combinations of music and weather which accompany each other perfectly? When the clouds are like this, low and and heavy (pregnant clouds), Le Onde seems to be the perfect partner to the day. It's the sort of day when i could quite happily curl up in a comfy chair with a good book, dive into another world until my senses are drowning. Those are the days when i cannot bare to leave those other worlds, when the pain of the separation brings tears to my eyes. But today the weather will go to waste, i must return my revision, there is no escape today.

yes esther i spoke about weather again, but it truly does affect me. It can be so beautiful and yet so cruel. It reflects my moods and vice versa. Days of sunshine when the world seems full of opportunity, days when the rain has just been and everything feels fresh and alive, and days when the sky is filled with thunder and lightning and every nerve echoes the electricity.

Weather is worth talking about, it is truly beautiful. So many faces, so many moods...will one ever know her.

posted by Brianne 1:58 pm

Thursday, May 01, 2003

 

May 1, 2003: 4.13pm

the battle of the dandelions and the daisies

can you see the yellow flowers?

The daisies have control of one corner of the field, the dandelions the other 3. The dandelions are bigger and brighter and they have more of the field but the daisies are not to be underestimated. Unbeknownst to the dandelions they are coming in from the rear and they have infiltrated the dandelion ranks with spies. I stand at the window and watch history repeat itself. The meaner side of nature plays itself out right beneath our noses and we are unaware. Or are we? Perhaps we are just turning a blind eye to the massacre that goes on. As the finale draws near, with the thrum of the lawnmower blades growing louder, we draw our curtains and tend our pot plants.

posted by Brianne 3:13 pm

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

 

April 30, 2003: 8.33pm

It is a beautiful evening. Out of esther's window it seems a spotlight has been switched on; the low sun makes the trees greener and the sky bluer and there is a very still quality to the atmosphere, i think time has stopped. Out my window the sky is very different. It is filled with low clouds, bruised around the edges, and the sky (where i can see it) is a pale blue making me think of early dawn. The trees are very quiet, tucked up for sleep, just a gentle swaying of their branches as if the wind wishes to lull them into sweet dreams...and perhaps me too. Is this a sweet dream? of an achingly beautiful world? or is it real and we are too awake to ourselves to see it? Then let me sleep a little longer. But already i'm awakened by bad music drifting up from the flat below, a helicopter cuts through the beautiful sky and i am becoming aware once again of my revision left forgotten on my desk.

posted by Brianne 7:33 pm

 

April 30, 2003: 3.33pm

Today I have been reading an article about positive illusions. It is thought by some that it is essential for our mental health that we see ourselves in a positive light and as we cannot be absolutely wonderful at everything we have many unrealistically positive opinions about ourselves and our achievements. Experiments have shown that the majority of people will rate themselves more positively, on a variety of traits and abilities, than the average person. Unfortunately for them it does not hold that everyone is better than the average person - who gets to be the average person? If you are the average person out there you are rare but also a dumbass (condolences). So, taking me (hands raised in Kenneth Brannagh style) for example, i think i play the flute badly but based on what has been said previously this is a positive illusion so i must sound really awful (i'm thinking cat through a wringer awful). In fact the only people to show anywhere near realistic views of themselves are the clinically depressed.
So the lesson for today? Lie to yourself, your mental health depends on it.

posted by Brianne 2:34 pm

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

 

April 29, 2003: 10.37

okay, cats have been redeemed in my eyes. Well done Annie, I wish you were my cat.

posted by Brianne 9:36 pm

 

April 29, 2003: 10.29pm

i knew there was a reason why i was wary of my cats...

posted by Brianne 9:29 pm

 

April 29, 2003: 5.01pm

I'm a treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!



Congratulations, you're a Dryad, a playful tree spirit.
What kind of female faerie are you?
Take the female faerie quizby Paradox

posted by Brianne 4:03 pm