worth more than many sparrows

Thursday, June 26, 2003

I have spent the last few evenings after work filling out application forms...and i am exhausted. Selling oneself is mentally draining. I have prostituted myself to the rat race, now i must wait and see if anyone will drive up and ask me to get in.

I am looking ahead to interviews and feel a little scared. How do i prepare myself for these interviews? My mind keeps leap-frogging over time...a week from now, a month from now, september, next year, two years time, ten years time...where will i be? what will i be?...who will i be with?

Do i have it in me to be patient and to trust?

posted by Brianne 4:38 pm

Sunday, June 22, 2003

this evening i stood on the bridge in the rain and watched swallows winging freely through the sky...the clouds seemed near enough to touch and the rain was so soft and gentle on my face, everything was stil the rain sounded like rice being scattered on the floor (you know what that sounds like esther).

26th nov 2001...over a year has passed...................expectation and anticipation.....................what happens to missed opportunities? do we have them again? Looking at the application form i feel a little scared, am i right to be staying here? Maybe i should be making a fresh start elsewhere...why can't i have a sign? flaming letters appearing across the sky? no? not even a hot pocket? I feel a little emotionally drained today, blank.

I try to stretch my mind but i just get my body wrecked

why do i not notice when i stop listening?

posted by Brianne 10:29 pm

the application form has arrived and so now i must seriously face the horrifying truth that i must leave the safety of university and enter the workplace (slapped on the butt by the cruel hand of reality). doubts have raced through my mind today...will i get this job? will they even interview me? who am i to think that they will give me this job? What does God want me to do?

trust and patience

expectation and anticipation come to stay unexpectedly and will slip away quietly when i am not looking...

where do i find myself? i wasn't looking where i was going and may have got lost but i think i know this place...God catch me as i fall as on the day i finally listened...

posted by Brianne 7:26 pm

		worth more than many sparrows a work in progress

sueño despierto HOME PROFILE ARCHIVES EMAIL Blogs a smile is not just a smile think pink too much fiction lambo hannah Odds & Ends university of reading RCSLT eddie izzard annie woodland london irish autism afasic deafness at birth RNID aphasia fugly Music ray lamontagne nerina pallot jason mraz cocorosie over the rhine madeleine peyroux death cab for cutie azure ray sarah masen sarah mclachlan cara dillon karine polwart kate rusby coldplay the wailin jennys kosheen cambridge folk festival eno Currently Reading wamphyri the count of monte cristo the voice and its disorders		Thursday, June 26, 2003 I have spent the last few evenings after work filling out application forms...and i am exhausted. Selling oneself is mentally draining. I have prostituted myself to the rat race, now i must wait and see if anyone will drive up and ask me to get in. I am looking ahead to interviews and feel a little scared. How do i prepare myself for these interviews? My mind keeps leap-frogging over time...a week from now, a month from now, september, next year, two years time, ten years time...where will i be? what will i be?...who will i be with? Do i have it in me to be patient and to trust? posted by Brianne 4:38 pm Sunday, June 22, 2003 this evening i stood on the bridge in the rain and watched swallows winging freely through the sky...the clouds seemed near enough to touch and the rain was so soft and gentle on my face, everything was stil the rain sounded like rice being scattered on the floor (you know what that sounds like esther). 26th nov 2001...over a year has passed...................expectation and anticipation.....................what happens to missed opportunities? do we have them again? Looking at the application form i feel a little scared, am i right to be staying here? Maybe i should be making a fresh start elsewhere...why can't i have a sign? flaming letters appearing across the sky? no? not even a hot pocket? I feel a little emotionally drained today, blank. I try to stretch my mind but i just get my body wrecked why do i not notice when i stop listening? posted by Brianne 10:29 pm the application form has arrived and so now i must seriously face the horrifying truth that i must leave the safety of university and enter the workplace (slapped on the butt by the cruel hand of reality). doubts have raced through my mind today...will i get this job? will they even interview me? who am i to think that they will give me this job? What does God want me to do? trust and patience expectation and anticipation come to stay unexpectedly and will slip away quietly when i am not looking... where do i find myself? i wasn't looking where i was going and may have got lost but i think i know this place...God catch me as i fall as on the day i finally listened... posted by Brianne 7:26 pm